Watch Out Liberals: Ben Shapiro To Begin Speaking At 1.5x His Normal Speed

Look out, snowflakes! Fast-talking, liberal-smoking Ben Shapiro just got a lot more dangerous. Conservative podcaster and self-proclaimed “debunker debutante,” Shapiro is prepared to up the ante on his de-bunking of liberal myths like systemic racism, the necessity of healthcare, and the existence of Black people.

He will now begin to speak 1.5x faster than he normally does which many speculate will lead to an increase in sharing of his videos as fewer people will be able to actually hear him make his arguments.

“Medicare for All?” he in a voice almost too fast to be audible, “That’s ridiculous. We can’t have Medicare for All if All Lives Don’t Matter which is explicitly what Black Lives Matter says in their graffiti statements.”

His last college address was just a 15-minute screech in which he discussed hundreds of topics, including BLM. He left the entire campus’ liberals demolished and every local dog with bleeding ears. “Black Lives Matter is a ridiculous statement because it insinuates that people of a certain color matter when in fact we know that the only thing that makes a person matter is how matter-of-factly you present your argument and how quickly you can do so before someone can catch everything you just said.”

He also spouted off on gender, “There are two genders. Fast and slow.” One of the more shocking revelations was that he revealed himself to be pro-choice. “Of course I’m pro-choice. It’s ridiculous that someone would think I’m not. You can CHOOSE to agree with me or CHOOSE to be labeled as an idiot by literally every educated person in existence.” 

The video has already been shared over 64 thousand times and liberals everywhere are crying out in defeat.

Jacob Nuckolls, The Terminal Times

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