Pluto Comes Out Of Closet After Entanglement With Uranus

In 2006, the International Astronomical Union mislabeled Pluto, deciding it was no longer big enough to be a planet. Which is exactly what you’d expect a bunch of nerdy white men to do. 14 years later, Pluto has had enough.

“Look,” said Pluto, while nervously rotating around the sun, “am I a planet, am I not. I do not care. Call me what you want. All I know is that I’m in love with Uranus.”

• The Terminal Times