Mighty Ducks Star Turns His Back On The Body Positivity Movement

In a country where 60% of its occupants are obese, somehow it’s becoming harder and harder for fatties to find representation in the media.

After becoming famous for being a chunky child, actor Shaun Weiss decided to start smoking meth and leave his unhealthy lifestyle behind him. Weiss is best known for his role as Goldberg, the goalie, in Disney’s Mighty Ducks and “the butt sit up guy” in 1995’s fat camp funny, Heavyweights. 

Fat middle schoolers from across the midwest were heartbroken when showed the before and after photos of one of their favorite stubby stars. “He made me feel alright to wear a tee shirt in a pool, but now… now he’s all healthy and better than us,” said a blubbering Billy Whithersby, a child with 3 diabetic comas to his name. 

“In my fictional roles, it was always my size that was important, not my personality. Well, the puck stops here. I’m turning my life around,” said Weiss on IG Live last week while smoking celebrity-grade methamphetamine out of a lightbulb.

• Terminal Times

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