According to findings done by all the female scientists in the world and beyond, you know exactly what you did to result in your current unfavorable conditions.
In a statement, all female scientist declared that:
The mere fact that you require clarification only reinforces the report of you being “a total dickweed.”
Your hypotheses of being a “decent guy” has shown a strong correlation with being full of shit! Lab tests confirm that even a stroke stricken deaf monkey can rationalize similar circumstances to your doucebaggary. If you require further sources on reaching a conclusion, we suggest you take a look at Referendum 2B, entitled “kiss my ass.”
In conclusion, if you have trouble understanding our findings, you can check our math.”
Further findings can be found in the New England journal of medicine, Scientific American, and Cosmopolitan.
• Kelly Berger, Terminal Times