Somalia Says “No Thank You” To Minneapolis Refugees

“Ya we’re gonna have to pass,” said Somalian President Mohamed Abdullahi Farmajo when questioned on whether he was going to accept an influx of Minneapolis residents. “How could I allow a group of people who put salt on watermelon to come and tarnish our lovely ocean front country?”

Josh Gordan, a resident of the Powderhorn neighborhood and hopeful future-Somalian when questioned as to why he chose somalia stated, “Well honestly I was really feeling Somalian food this morning and then realized we accidentally destroyed all the good restaurants here in Minneapolis. What better way than to get it than straight from the source.”

The mass exodus of white Minneapolis residents is sparked by riots turning their city into a post-apocalyptic warzone. Many decide to leave for the sole reason of it feeling eerily similar to St. Paul.

• Terminal Times

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