Welcome Our Newest Sponsor: Manscaped.com

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Refining the Gentleman

Do you have a dirty little hairy penis? Do you have stinky balls? Does your shit get tangled up in your asscrack when you shit? If so, The Terminal Times would like to offer you an exclusive deal with our new sponsor, Manscaped. With the codeword “TTimes” you get 10% off any order and free shipping. That’s 10% off all of Manscaped’s space age line up.

    When your dick looks like a lion prowling in the grasslands of Kenya, it’s time to use their new Lawn Mower 3.0 to whack that prairie down. When you’re done down, there it’ll look like there was a controlled burn to tame that Kentucky Blue! The lawnmower is made with new patent SkinSafe technologies to eliminate all the bloody knicks and cuts we’ve become accustomed to!  

    With one spray, new Crop Rivivier will turn your balls from “strung out heroin junkie” to “Cool Jazz Musician.” No longer will you have to sit on your balls to hide your odor, you can let your trumpet reign supreme. 

9 out of 10 women polled said that they would in fact “slob” on his “knob” after use of the whole line up. And, if you act quick with codeword “TTimes” they will throw in a carrying case, perfect for filling with condoms, you’ll need em.

• The Terminal Times

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