For the first time in history, scientists at Australia University said “croiwkey mate, koalas are dumb as hell!”
The formerly cute and auspicious species was deemed “Officially Dumb” after a researcher noticed a koala looking dumber than a box of bricks hanging upside down from a tree.
“These delightful little idiots make my life absolute hell,” said Researcher Owen Onsrach, “the more you watch them, you more you realize they shouldn’t be allowed to drive cars, let alone do a lecture at University.”
This statement by Onsrach was a result of multiple dumbness tests, surpassing seagulls, worms and pandas as the dumbest animal in the world! The 2020 Koalas won the National Stupidity Championships, ranking highest in idiocy, ignorance, and nimwit nature.
“The koalas hope to be even dumber next year,” said Reseachers, “by hanging upside down and eating leaves and whatnot, lookin dumb as hell.”
• The Terminal Times