Trump Declares Himself Winner Of Second Civil War

DC – President Trump shocked the nation this morning after he declared himself the winner of the upcoming 2nd Civil War. 

His victory surprised many as his supporters were on stand-by to at least start the Civil War before announcing their victory. 

“Start making the monuments, stop having the battles,” he said, “because as far as we’re concerned, we’ve already won.” 

  • Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times

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