Escape Artist Unable To Escape Sense Of Impending Doom

Ernio Modrero has escaped chains, cages, and locked rooms of many kinds but is unable to escape the sense of growing dread he wakes up to every morning

“Is this life? I just go to work, strap into a straight jacket, get thrown into a water tank, and escape to the applause of hundreds of people? Is that all I’m living for?” he mulled. “I want to escape this prison of the 9-5 work-week, man.”

It doesn’t help that Ernio sees other magicians on social media show off their talents. Not only can rival magicians like Plutarch the Probable make rabbits disappear, Plutarch can also make his own sadness disappear.

Other magicians like Hugh Deanie seem to be taking incredible vacations to various corners of the world while Ernio is forced to break out of chained shipping crates for birthday parties.

The lockdown has also affected Ernio’s other business, an Escape Room called “Ernio’s Escape Pit.”

“Business has gone way down.” he said,  “Apparently after spending 6 months locked in their own rooms, people didn’t want to pay to get locked into our rooms.”

However, in recent days Ernio has been in better spirits. When asked why, he responds, “A Magician never reveals his secrets…but if he did, the secret would probably be regular exercise and Prozac.”

• Jacob Nuckolls, Terminal Times

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