Study: 93% Of Amish Families Still Have A Lot Of Corn

Surprising, isn’t it? In the midst of a global pandemic, those silly old Amish folks still have a lot of corn. 

Self-isolation is nothing new to the Amish- the traditionalist Christian church fellowship has been quarantined by God since as early as 1693. 

In a quest to investigate how the Amish are doing in this time of crisis, we picked up “The Budget.” a popular Amish newspaper, in an abandoned farmhouse in rural Wisconsin. 

In the article, a local Amish man took a look around his immediate area and realized the preposterous amount of corn that surrounded him. “I figure about 93% of us Amish folk have a lot of corn,” said the writer. 

In the heartwarming story- the writer announces his gratitude for Amish corn, in all its forms. “Normal corn, maze, wheat corn, corn for the livestock, corn for eating, cleaning corn…” The writer goes on for about 3 paragraphs listing the different forms of Amish corn. “We’re just so happy for it.” 

Although the Amish love their corn, it isn’t the only delicious delectable on their menu. The friendly farmers also produce large amounts of wheat, barley and radishes. 

“If it’s one thing the Amish are known for, it’s our cooking,” said the writer. “Everyone loves scraffle, shoofly pie, cabbage rolls, and chow-chow. On special occasions, we just have a big bowl of gravy for dinner.” 

In an ever-changing socially distanced world, the Amish are still thriving. According to some members of the fellowships, corn has a rare immunotoxic chemical inside it that wards off demons and infectious diseases.

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